RELEASE.md: promote dependency-override check to a pre-release gate

[jnasbyupgrade]

Summary

• Moves the "CI dependency-override toggle must be unset before release" rule from the passive "Notes / gotchas" list at the bottom of RELEASE.md into an actual checklist item in step 2 ("Pre-release checks").
• Leaves a short backward-pointer in "Notes / gotchas" instead of the full explanation, per this repo's own "explain at first mention, don't repeat" convention.

Why

Postgres-Extensions/extension_tools#45 is trimming that repo's local RELEASE.md down to just its CAT_TOOLS_GIT_REF guardrail, on the assumption the shared doc covers the general case — it does, but only as a footnote nobody is forced to read before cutting a release. The actual risk isn't specific to any one pinned version (e.g. cat_tools 0.3.0): it's that CI testing against a git-ref dependency override is, by construction, not testing the normal PGXN-install path a real consumer would use. Releasing while that override is live ships a zip whose declared dependency floor nothing on PGXN can actually satisfy. Making this a checklist step instead of a gotcha closes that gap.

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